Thursday, April 5, 2012

Keep a Teen Handy for the Unexpected

If you ever have occasion to be out and child services comes calling because a woman who you are helping refuses to be accountable for her actions and instead calls in malicious complaints about the family who is raising her baby, and I hope you never do, have someone like Teen at home. The great thing about teens at least in this situation is they know they are right. Deep in their bones and everywhere else, they know with an unapologetic certainty what justice entails and are more than willing to lay it on the table.

In this case it presented itself in the form of Teen answering the question of "are you cleared to care for [Baby K]?" with the flippant response of, "I've lived here my whole life, so I would assume I've been cleared." Directly followed by a full description given to the poor investigator (who had the misfortune to be next-up when this blatantly false call was received) of the previous antics of baby-momma encountered by my family in the past 10 months. All done while inspecting the investigator's ID at least that is my sincere hope and showing Baby K's not surprisingly pristine back, arms, legs, face yeah, you get the idea to the investigator.

Now, mind you, I have no problem with Teen's handling of this situation. In fact, I believe she did a stellar job; which was only reinforced when in speaking with the investigator the next day I was told, "Your daughter is amazing with her and the baby is so bonded too. She laid her head right down and rested on your daughter's shoulder."

Who knew that upon taking in a child you should prep your children not to talk to authorities of any kind and to have them say something along the lines of, "My parents aren't here right now. I will call them immediately and until they arrive you may wait on the porch?" I mean honestly. It had never occurred to me that someone could question my child without me being home...

So, yes I was angry. At the situation, not at any one person. I was angry that my children can have their lives disrupted by this nonsense and that while there are 50billion ways the parent's rights are protected, I often feel like we are hanging in the breeze waiting for the next emotional storm to erupt and our reputations and lives to be questioned. I was angry that I had to tell my children that they are not allowed to talk to people of authority unless there is an emergency or we are present. I was angry at the hassle of it all.

Would I ever say, "Enough - take her back?" HELL NO. Who else knows all her cries? Who else can see her scratching the back of her neck and know it means she is overwhelmed and exhausted? Who else can get her to belly laugh from across the room with a well-timed expression or reaction? We are her family. And she is ours.

So we muddle through the bureaucratic BS and hope her life is never touched by the chaos. We give her all of our love and affection while creating a safe harbor of stability in an otherwise hectic world. We parent.

*Note: For those of you concerned, a police officer has contacted me and is looking into pressing charges against baby-momma for false reports. He said he hopes he can make a case the prosecution will take. We shall see...*


  1. A wonderful story, heros in my books!

  2. You are doing an amazing job with Baby K and it is obvious you have done an amazing job your first time around. Your daughter sounds like she is amazing with her truth and reaction to questions that shouldn't even be asked.... Keep up the good fight it's worth it...


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