Saturday, November 20, 2010

Short, Sweet Saturday

In an effort to continue my attempt at regular posting and a lack of any usable material I am going with random parenting truisms today.

~ You will not notice how filthy your child became while playing in the yard until you are standing in grocery store and a very kindly elderly couple begins talking with her.

~ When allowing a teen to attend a midnight premier, plan for an afternoon of sleeping teen because you are a big meany and made her stick to the original deal and attend school on time.

~ Learn to laugh off parents who shake a finger at you when you allow your child to attend midnight premiers with her father, knowing you know what is right for your child.

~ Just because your child was super excited to be a B away from straight A's does not in any way guarantee that you get to resign from the post of homework police the next quarter.

~ No matter how sure you are that you have the most original idea for a Christmas gift for your parents, your sister will surely tell you that she has the perfect gift idea and it will be almost identical to yours.

~ Procrastinate housework as long as possible on a Saturday. 
Blogging is helpful with this ;)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Come with me if you want to live...

I am going to preface this post with an announcement. I am no Sarah Connor. though I wouldn't mind having her muscles, the gaunt  look does nothing for me I live in suburbia, and honestly I am pretty average. You probably wouldn't find me remarkable on sight and I am very moderate in most beliefs. I am not preparing my children for the day machines take over the world, and though we have taken the oldest two shooting at clay pigeons a time or two, we are not arming our own personal militia here in Sunnyville.

But there are those lessons, aren't there? that every person especially film writers should know. So it was that we were cruising around suburbia yesterday and four police cars raced past in the other direction. Talk flowed to wondering what was up and talking about recent accidents and pull-overs it is snow bird season here Amidst the conversation I told the kids i was going to share a life-lesson. My plan was to tell them (ok Teen - but the other two were in the car) that if lost while driving it is right and good to go ahead and pass your turn and then turn around at a reasonable time rather than stopping dead in the middle of a 6 lane highway. yes people do that here

Except that just after I began with "Ok guys, I have a life-lesson for you..."
Boy jumped in and said, "In a terrorist attack, or a killer flu outbreak, or if zombies invade we should stay away from the cities and go to the country."
heehee Laughter exploded from Teen and she looked to me and said, "Seriously, you told them what to do in a zombie apocalypse?!" Well, yeah, it may have come-up in the conversation a time or two.

Just because screen writers are foolish enough to send their characters to the city in the event of a cataclysmic event, doesn't mean I am. :)

Saturday, November 13, 2010

That Music Will Put Your Eye Out

Recently Hubby and I (alone, no minor chaperons attached) flew into our favorite city for a concert wedding. It was purely coincidental that Riot Fest was happening the same weekend and that Hubby won all access passes to every show of the event hours on facebook finally pay off Though we would have liked to see every show, there are obligations with a wedding: drinking, bachelor party, more drinking. But there was one show in particular we were not going to miss, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Less than Jake, and a few other ska-type bands. 

In what may have been a preemptive attack on rapid aging I donned my doc martins, jeans and a T then headed to the show with an old friend and our guys. We watched the show from a safe distance for awhile. (There is much dancing about with elbows and knees flying in various directions at a punk rock show.) The ladies, uh yeah, in this scenario that would be me, had decided we WOULD be heading to the main floor for the Bosstones, and I took advantage of a loll in the show to get some fresh air bonus of all access passes, can enter and leave at will

So it was that I was milling about on Irving Park Rd. and 3 security guys/cops burst through the door with a concert-goer, we'll call him Guy, in tow. Guy was promptly deposited on the street near a wall while staff talked among themselves. Such behavior is sure to draw an interest. Yes, I was gawking, along with a few other groups milling about. In a crouched fetal position, Guy was holding his crumpled shirt tightly to his face. 

A nearby group assumed he had been the receiver of a badly placed elbow and had a bloody nose. One wondered aloud why the guy was hyperventilating, and why there was an ambulance coming. His tone implying Guy needed to "man-up."  On closer attention it happened that yes, a badly placed elbow was to blame. But no mere nosebleed here. Guy's eye had literally been popped from its socket. At which point I said aloud to no one, "If my eye pops out, feel free to call an ambulance." To which I was assured by the nearby group that they would indeed do that service for me. 

Maybe my mother was right all my teens and 20's and there are things that will put your eye out.

Yes, I still went to the main floor, though Hubby (bless his heart) was worried for my safety trying very hard not to read into this that he thinks I'm too feeble to dodge a few elbows

Friday, November 12, 2010

Rapid Aging

I don't know about the rest of the world, but here in Sunnyville we seem to be subjects of a Jimmy Neutron experiment gone awry. For those with small children, he is a boy genius cartoon Darn him! I was bobbing happily along this parenthood ride when suddenly a switch was thrown, and I find myself in fast-forward.

It started with Youngest being invited to attend a family camping trip - with another family! Her anxiety was only outmeasured by her excitement. Ok, I admit I was a little happy to know I would have one less contestant in the bickering contest that often exisits between the three. But, she's only 6, a mere baby. So, bam. Just like that I am a parent to 3 kids who can sleep-over with friends.

The same weekend Boy, who had been on the fence, decided and attended his first school dance. At drop-off he was quiet timid as a mouse. It was sweet, dropping him off to hang with school friends for an evening of chaperoned fun. It was not until pick-up that the rapid aging was felt once again. Arriving at the dance to sign him out it's a safety conscious world I spot him. And more importantly he spots me - and ducks back into the crowd! I watched with other waiting parents as he hopped and bobbed his way through the last song of the night and sent Youngest in to wrangle him. He chatted a bit on the way home, and seemed to have enjoyed himself. I was pleased for him. Until bedtime. Upon sending him to bed, I reach for my nightly hug and kiss and am offered a fist instead. Not for a punch. But for a knuckle bump. Are you kidding me? One dance and suddenly he is too old for hugs! Not. Ready. For. This. ok, I admit I hugged him anyway

Then the same weekend Teen decides yes, she will be attending the homecoming dance with friends. We rush through trying on 10 dresses, find all necessary accessories, and she begins to prep and primp with friends. I am very pleased for her. Until I see her ready to go and it hits me again. rapid aging sucks She is not so little anymore. An honest-to-goodness young lady.

So, to Jimmy Neutron, or the universe, I say slow the heck down!