It all started as too many things do around here - talking about animal parts.
Of course, this led to a reminder to Youngest to care for pets appropriately and all that good stuff, and would typically end there - except Youngest was puzzled.
"Mom, I don't know why [Young-Neighbor] said he didn't know if guinea pigs have butts - he says a lot of times, 'I see that guinea pig's butt,'" Youngest questioned. Repeatedly. And in a variety of ways.
Maybe it was genuine confusion in her voice, maybe I was distracted by the dinner dishes I was finishing, or maybe and most likely I was just tired and dropped my guard, but whichever it was I responded, "Oh well, maybe he was looking to see if guinea pigs have private parts and he said butt instead."
And a light dawned in her eyes, "OHHHH! You mean he was looking to see if it had a va-china! That's funny - everything has a butt! Why would he look for that?" Here is where I made it worse - but don't judge, I can't have her walking around thinking butt and vagina are synonymous.
"Yes, everyone has a butt." And that is where I could have left it - but knowledge and all that good stuff.... "Not everyone has a vagina though, only girls." Her dismissive laughter rang through the kitchen.
"Mom, everyone has a butt."
So, I explained.
"WHAT?? Everyone doesn't have a va-china?"
"Nope, only girls."
"[Boy] doesn't have a va-china? Dad, is this the truth? What about Ollie [the dog]? I saw his bottom!"
And understanding dawned. She took a bite of Neapolitan ice cream to digest this new world view - and ask specifically about every single male in her social circle
"All boys and male dogs have a penis. All male animals? All male humans?"
I confirmed that humans are, in fact, animals.
"I am NOT getting married! Not ever!" She declared with all the assurance of a newly converted soul swearing off sin.