Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Question for the TV Execs.

I admit it freely - I am a fiction addict. Books can be pulp fiction or literary classics I don't care. Movies, I rent regularly. Television, yes even prime time TV. I make this admission knowing fully it can get me expelled from the "cool moms who ban TV club" and the "I don't waste my time with pulp group." My husband ordered a DVR a year ago (which I didn't want) and I love it! I use it regularly - and usually not for breakthrough science documentaries. As Popeye would say, "I am what I am."

But watching TV has its pros and cons. The biggest pros being that I can do paper work, fold clothes, or just veg-out while having my mind entertained. The cons would be the questions & doubts that it causes to run through my mind.

When a popular FBI drama sends agents to a home to help the family of 2, 5, or 6 find their lost child the home is always spotless. It does not matter whether there are 3 kids under 5 in the home or just a teen and parent. Oh, sure there may be a load of laundry left neatly in the basket in the corner, or if they are really going for reality it is dumped neatly on a couch. No socks have escaped and there are certainly no underwear showing. This is usually within hours of the incident. How did the house get clean?

Did the mother, knowing officials would be at the door, stop to clean? Do the police offer this as a service? Noooo - we are meant to believe that all houses are this clean everyday. Come now, my house is messier than that 1/2 an hour after a Saturday make-over! Either I am a really bad housekeeper or TV has an agenda - making all parents feel the need to obsessively tidy.

The only houses that are ever dirty are the ones that were home to either a gruesome murder scene or an addicted parent. And that filth usually amounts to dishes in the sink and garbage that needs to be taken out. Ughhh - there is no murder scene at my home and no addiction issues. To what can I attribute the fact that there have been dishes in the sink for more than 10 minutes?

My husband wonders why I am obsessive about the house being clean before we leave for a trip. This is the reason! What if we crash and officials have to enter my home - they are bound to judge me as a raving lunatic mother who must be in some part to blame for her misfortunes. After all there are some underwear on the floor.


  1. You're cracking me up. We all have these thoughts. I have seen your cleanliness levels on a daily living basis and can assure you they are normal and fine. Clean enough to be healthy, dirty enough to be happy!

  2. Also make sure the cupboards are full with healthy food or else the kids will be looked upon as malnourished and neglected.

  3. Thanks for this post. I'm not alone! My house NEVER looks like the houses on TV. People actually live here, in my case its two teen girls with too many clothes and their parents. I have a sign in my kitchen that says, "A Messy Kitchen is a Happy Place. This one is delirious." I think that says it all.

  4. As long as it's clean underwear, I think you'll be fine!

  5. ~weaselmomma: LOL! that's what I tell myself.

    ~kathy: Well, as long as it isn't a shopping day I should be covered. (they eat all the junk like locusts the minute it enters the house!)

    ~surprised: I could use that sign for my house!

    ~badmomma: as long as they don't look in teen's room :)

  6. I love TV too. I love the DVR. I have never thougth about the cleanliness though. Now I will see it on every show I watch.

  7. ~otter: Don't even go down that path - too full of unattainable perfection.

  8. all you dvr/tivo ppl suck! that being said, i'm suppose judging me by my house would put me somewhere around a murdering addict :) but i don't give a crap any more! let them come see me in my dirty house. bring on the feds and the coppers. i'll even keep a pair of dirty underwear in my glovebox so i can change into them after my next car wreck. i defy all the cleaning rules everywhere!

    oh, and i don't ever get colds or the flu...think about them apples!


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