Monday, January 19, 2009

Mall Tips..

Do you have a teen that asks you to chauffer herself and a small army of friends to the mall? Only to be asked to stay for an inordinate amount of time, with occasional check-ins? One who pretends to look past you when you pass in the crowded passages? Well, I have some tips that may help.

The following tips are based on actual experience and have proven themselves quite useful.

1) Bring an adorable younger sibling, even if your teen can resist, the others in the group are sure to cave. (it is helpful for the toddler/pre-k to be a huge ham)

2) Take said sibling into all those stores you normally avoid - let's face it, you have no money to shop and you have 3 hours to kill.

3) Cave and buy sibling something cheap, but adorable. I have found that hair items are practical, inexpensive, and bring out sibling's vanity.

4) Suggest to sibling, "Wow! That looks great, you should show (insert teen's name here).

5) Head in the direction of known hot-spots: Spencer's, Starbucks, Hot Topic, etc...

6) When you target your teen group, point them out to sibling, who will joyfully run into the fray and seek all kinds of attention. (at this point the teen will usually speak to you, showing what she bought, telling where she is headed, etc..)

7) You can replay steps 4-6 regularly throughout your killing-time allotment.

I realize it is not necessary, but hey, I'm stuck at the mall and it keeps me entertained!


  1. You completely rock! No wonder that we are friends. I have been practicing these techniques, in many venues, for years. Great minds you know!

  2. hell with all that! just make them ride their bikes to the mall and come home when you tell 'em too. that way you can have 1 or 2 less kids at home while you're doing you housework. at least that's what mom made us do, and it's not like anybody would want to steal a teenager. they're annoying as shit! lol

  3. weaselmomma: yup! that's us the rock stars!

    nonna: we are very far from the mall!

  4. That is the way it is done! Small child is entertained and has some energy burnt off, teen can't disappear into inappropriate stores or spend too much money, you get a little time off. It's win-win all around. Great work.

  5. I'll have to remember this if I am ever in this situation. I was not a mall rat as a teen, when not home after school I was either at my friend's house or doing volunteer work stuff. When I did go to the mall with my mom I stayed with her, but then we didn't bring other people except maybe a sibling and we had store or two in mind to go to with maybe a trip to the food court planned, no mindless wondering. I better marry another weirdo, I would so not know what to do with a normal kid! Hopefully weird genes don't cancel each other out or I am so screwed.


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