Friday, February 12, 2010

Conference Code Confessions

It's Friday! So read this...then head over to DadBlogs for some really great reading. You won't regret it.

Parent-teacher conferences, they can be moments of great inspiration or moments of quiet dread.

As a parent of three I have experienced both ends of the spectrum. As a teacher of more than a few minutes years, I have experienced each end as well. For both parties, surprise surprise there is a code, a secret language that transpires at such gatherings. Life and conferences progress much easier when both parties keep to the code. 

But, for those who haven't experienced the dread conference and never will I know you're knocking on wood now, aren't you I am going to confess the thoughts behind both parites:

Teacher: She is a bright student, she just isn't applying herself   
means: There are more gaps in her gradebook entries than there are in a schizophrenic's memory.

Parent: We have been working on this at home.
means: We have cajoled, yelled, grounded, bribed, and screamed the next step is WHAT?

Teacher: We've noticed a recent change in his friends and behavior.
means: You better keep an eye on your son. His new friends make the drug cartels look kind.

Parents: She just never talks about school.
means: She has clammed up tighter than Scrooge's wallet at a charity auction.

Teacher: We strongly encourage the students to practice and take-on more responsibility.
means: We are not going to call after every class with and update. OR Please stop doing your kid's homework!

Parents: Math is taught completely differently than when I was a kid.
means: You are the teacher, teach! OR I hate math, so you need to do it at school - stop sending me homework!

Teacher: I'm glad we could work out this communication issue. 
means: It is completely understandable that you would believe your child over the AP. We always bust/fail/report kids for doing nothing - it's how we get our kicks.

Parents: I just don't see how this could have happened in the classroom.
means: Hello! Are you even watching my kid?

Obviously, when we use the code everyone gets along. If you find yourself at a loss for code just remember everyone is there for the child. And vent through another venue...a blog for instance.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. This is flipping awesome!!!!!!!!

    I have a dreaded conference coming up on Thursday. This translation will keep me laughing to myself through it all.

  3. Ah, the dreaded parent-teacher conference. I am lucky that out of all the teachers the girls had, we only had to use the "code" with one.

    BTW, this is so darned funny, probably because it's so true.

  4. Thanks for the code words... I will be ready for our next conference LOL.

  5. And...if the "code" fails, you can check out a post I wrote a couple weeks ago. Conferences can be a good thing.

    Top Notch Parents

    Check it out here:

  6. ha! i like the "parents stop doing the homework for your kids" and the "can't you teach them math at a school?? i just don't understand that "new math" y'all are doing now-a-days" LOL

    see if you weren't a SADIST and taught elementary school you wouldn't be having these kinds of problems. you'd just have to kiss boo boos and dry pee pee shorts :)


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