Yesterday was a bad day. I knew it would be going in, but somehow that doesn't help when reality is smacking you in the face.
In a lunchroom filled with 400 - yes 400 hungry, gossiping, wiggling 7th graders 2 girls came running up to me calling in a panic. I flew from my seat, expecting to see a child bleeding. What confronted me instead was a girl (with no health history)in seizure on the floor. Thinking calmly (surprise and thank God) I sent 2 girls to the nurse, got down and held said student's head in my lap. Then I waited...and waited... while other teachers directed kids to back-off, go to different tables, clear the area. Eventually help arrived in minutes - 2 sets of paramedics in maybe 10 minutes (but it felt like 30). I am thrilled to report said student was eventually able to walk, talk, and was being taken to the hospital by her parents when last I saw her. It was scary & emotionally draining.
Round 2: Our school district is a mess. People are moving in and moving out. There is instability in the populations at the schools. This means that teachers are cut (surplussed) from one school and then wait almost 2 months to find where (or if) they will be placed at another school. There is no personal control involved and it is strictly based on seniority in the district - which is the entire county of sunnyland. I knew at my school, I was in a low-man situation. When we opened a new middle school this year, almost all of the people lower than me were moved to the new school - so here I sit *quack-quack*.
As if my lunch hadn't been emotional enough, I decide that it is better to know. So, I head to the principal's office on my planning period. Low and behold I am among the 12! teachers being surplussed. (Just because I am newish - which I hate) It was not a surprise. But, it sucks. The team that I work with is sad and I face the uncertainty of where I will be next year. I hate having zero control. Needless to say I was sad and exhausted at the end of the day.
A HUG: My weary a** drags in to daycare and I watch youngest playing for a moment before teacher calls her to go. She comes running, smile as big as the world, knobby knees covered in grime and I squat to receive what definitely ranks as one of the best hugs of my existence. I pick her up and she says - "Uh..I am done hugging now momma!"
A BABYSITTER/SMILE/HUSBAND: When we arrived home, teen came out to tell me dad (hers)is on the phone. I get a smile from boy, who says "I had a good day, mom" Husband says he is taking me out for dinner - be ready. He arrives and teen, who is concerned that I had a "sucky day" but don't want to talk about it, is completely willing to watch her sibs. for dinner. She even acquiesces to bath the dirt monster that is her little sister. Husband is kind, optimistic, and very zen(which drives me crazy). It is my shelter from the storm of life.